Sitting here, in my undies, and it is 4 pm...

That's right...It's true. I am indeed in my undies at 4 pm...Lame...I know. I went to the YMCA and worked out, like I do almost every day...but today was different. I ran into my first real love on friday. My brother and his band were a headline band at the Mayfly festival, in Dundee, Mi., and I went to support them. While I was there...I met him again. The him in this scenario was my first best friend. Although Charlie is my best friend, and really, the best friend any guy could ask for and I love him to death, but I did not meet Charlie until the 11th grade, in Mr. Matusik's poli sci class. In all, it was the best thing life could have given me. I needed Charlie like macaroni needs cheese. In all seriousness, Charlie, Vanessa, and Anissa were the real reasons why I survived high school. Here's the story...

In 6th grade, I entered middle school. I met a boy and a girl, who would then be my best friends for four years. We were all in each other's classes and we bonded to a high level. You could say, we were "the best of friends." Well, after two years of this relationship, I began to feel stronger feelings than a best friend should. Yes, I became "that guy." I started doing things that went well over the call of duty. But alas, I was young and in love. Later, this feeling towards him led to me being sly...lol Charlie and Stephen...Well, when it came time to spill the beans, he abandoned me. I already knew that was most likely the outcome, but I had to try. We ceased being friends because he could not have a gay best friend. Alas...this hurt to the extreme. I still have not completely healed, and images of the past still haunt my unconsciousness. So to Charlie- sometimes dreams can be a bitch.

Anyways, I finally moved on, went to college, etc etc and forgotten him. Well, not completely, but to a point where it no longer hurt. But, at the festival, I ran into him. Seven years of memories, of pain, of emotion inflamed me. Consumed me. All it took was just one look and an exchange of words. Of course I showed him how better off I am, etc etc etc, you know, how women have to look better, etc etc when they see an ex, well that's how I was. And so was he. But afterwards, dark images hunted my consciousness, and my wall I had built, crumbled. It is usually troublesome how life throws a curve-ball.

I believe love has two sides, almost like Two-Face...or Tom Jones, lol, one full of light, peace, and happiness, the other, the opposite. Sigh, do not worry, I will be alright. :)

-Toph